Wrestling with God

Vintage Post from December 21st, 2007

The past few months for me have been downright trying. I've actually gotten to the point where I've been like, "What more can happen to me?” I feel like I just can’t take anymore right now. I'm pretty sure the only thing left is death, but then again maybe that's what needs to happen.
Now, I'm not saying that someone needs to die, but what I am saying is this. I’m struggling with a myriad of things right now. I’ve lost a friend and my job. My mom is convinced that I am depressed and should seek medication. I know there is a reason that everything has happened to me like it has and I know God has a plan for it all. I feel like I should be more upset and more distraught over this mess of a life that I am wading in right now, but just like Joseph, I have this overwhelming feeling that all of this negative stuff that has been going on in my life will not be wasted and in the grand scheme of things, I know God will use it for His glory. I have peace about it all and I know I'll be fine.

This strikes me as odd, because the old me would be freaking out and probably crying hysterically and being all dramatic. This is not to say that I am filled with joy over my circumstances and I have cried – a lot, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I have been thinking about the story in the Bible, in Genesis 32:24-28, where Jacob wrestles with God.

"This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob's hip and wrenched it out of its socket. Then the man said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!"
But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
"What is your name?" the man asked.
He replied, "Jacob."
"Your name will no longer be Jacob," the man told him. "From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and have won."

Jacob puts up a good fight and he thinks he's winning and then all of a sudden God causes him pain, by touching his hip. What Jacob does after this is interesting. Instead of continuing to fight or quitting and limping away, he clings to God. Jacob holds onto God to endure the pain that he has been dealt and he even says that he won't let go.

What I am reminded of is this. It is during the most difficult times in our lives that it is important to turn to God. He uses the times in our lives when we feel the most hopeless, the most alone, the most heartache to draw us closer to Him. In times like right now, God is drawing me closer to Him. What God wants us to do in times of struggle is not to keep struggling with Him, but to cling to Him and hold on with all we've got. I really don’t like the statement “Let Go, and Let God”. Yes, we should bring our burdens to the foot of the cross and turn them over to God, but we should hold on to God with every ounce of strength we have in us trusting that He has out best interest in mind. So in letting go of our problems, we should have two free arms to hold on to God with all our might. I am desperately trying to do so right now. The same is true during times when we are not struggling. We need to have total and complete dependence on God. This is what God was trying to teach Jacob. He was trying to show him that he needed to be totally dependent on Him. Maybe this is what He is trying to teach me.

Too many times I let my pride get in the way and I think that I can handle things on my own. Well, let me tell you this. I AM WRONG. First and foremost, I need to be totally dependent on God all the time. I need to rejoice in Him always. I need him close during the good times and I need to cling to him with every ounce of strength I have in me in bad times... In times like right now. So, in a sense, death does need to happen.

What do I mean by that? I need to die to myself and get rid of the pride and that part of me, which comes from Satan, that tells me that I don't need anyone, I can do this on my own and no one understands. All of these lies come from Satan and they are a tactic to make me think that I need to be isolated and take care of things myself, which is the exact opposite of what I do need. Like I said, I need to cling to God, but I also need to tell those who care about me, so they can help bear my burdens and I need to do the same for them. God calls us to bear each other’s burdens, so how can others in my life do what God has called them to do if I keep everything bottled inside? They say strength comes in numbers for a reason, don't they?

I can honestly say that I kept everything from even those who were the closest to me. The amount of shame, guilt, remorse and heartache, I have endured and tried to keep to myself was unbearable. I had this great sense of fear that if I told those who cared about me exactly what I was going through, that they would turn their backs on me and I would be left alone.
When God finally spoke to me and made me realize that not only did I need Him to get through this, but I also needed other people, I was at our Youth’s Fall Retreat, in the middle of nowhere in October. I was very grateful that my best friend Karen was with me that weekend. The weekend was all about God’s love and bearing each other’s burdens…. Can you see where I’m going with this? Anyways, Karen and I had the opportunity to go for a very long walk during one of the sessions. It was during this walk that I remembered two passages. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and He’ll forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” and James 5:16 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results”. Little did I know how wonderful those results would be. I immediately started to cry and then, I just blurted out everything that had been going on. All my struggles, everything. And this was before I lost my job…

The reaction I got wasn’t seeing Karen walk away from me, but rather her tears that she shed for me and then the hug that showed me that she really did love me. It was difficult to let go of my pain, but God gave me the strength to do so. And that’s not all. The more people I talked to, the better I felt and the more love that poured out on to me and filled my heart. I honestly felt the love of God coming from them and for probably the first time in my life, I knew without a doubt that I was loved.

I know that I have a long journey ahead of me as I deal with the pain and look for a job, but I also know that I have people who care about me and will be with me every step of the way, and of course, so will God. He has a plan for all of this chaos, I guess I’ll have to cling to Him and find out what it is…Anyways, one final thought. God says that Jacob fought with Him and won. This strikes me as odd, because Jacobs' situation doesn't fit into the world's definition of winning. I mean Jacob gave in didn't he? He held onto God while pain was inflicted on him and he didn't let go. Maybe in the end he did win, because he did what he was supposed to - Cling to God.

I Don’t Need Your Help, But Wait, Do I Need HIS?

I like to do things on my own. I don't like to ask for help. At first I told myself that I didn’t think this way because I believed that it was a sign of weakness, but the more I thought about it, the more I saw that I did think it was a sign of weakness to ask for help. Not only that, but I have been known to be stubborn. What causes me to think and behave like this? Well, I think there are a few factors that come into play here. I was raised by people, one in particular, who expected me to do everything perfectly right, the first time. Mistakes were not allowed. He saw it as a sign of weakness when mistakes were made and to top it off. He told me “You can’t do anything right!” so many times that I believed it. I spent a great deal of time trying to prove him wrong, but since I saw myself in the same light he did, it was extremely difficult. Not only were mistakes not allowed, neither were crumbs. If one crumb was spotted an entire afternoon of sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming would follow. I was constantly paranoid that he was lurking somewhere waiting to yell about some discrete, minute, particle that was out of place. (Ok, this may be a slight exaggeration, but to me that's how it felt growing up. Then there was the incident of the hole punch in which I was punching holes in papers in a non designated area. He asked me what I was doing. I should have said I was making confetti, but I digress....) So, what's the point of my previous rambles? Well the point is this...

When other people or influences in our lives tell us that we have to be "perfect" and do all things "perfectly", it takes a toll on us. (We are not called to be perfect, it isn’t humanly possible) This is probably why I am a perfectionist. (I am also a procrastinator, but that’s another story) I try very hard to make sure every little detail is done to the best of my ability. It is difficult for me to accept failure, even though I know it is a part of life and, boy, have I ever failed in many things. I think we all have or will at some point in life. (I’ll get back to this point a bit later)

Then, of course there's the little thing I'm sure Satan whispers in our ear,
"Psssst....You shouldn't ask them for help.... You don't need their help.... You don't need anyone's help.... You can do it on your own.... You're better than them... You can do it better than them... They'll just mess it up and you'll have to fix it... Asking for help is a sign of weaknessssssssss" (I was going on the whole serpent thing...)

I know I've listened to Satan on that one before. So what is right?

To answer this, let’s get back to my earlier point on failure. When I lost my job back in December of 2007, I was devastated, and also partly to blame. I took this pretty hard, then when I was going to interview after interview, delivering resumes, and even looking into just getting a job – any job. The interviews were going well and I received phone calls from many of the places I delivered my resume to, but when it came down to it, even Wal-Mart declined hiring me. I felt as if God was slamming every door in my face; getting my hopes up then tearing them down. Now, God isn’t really like that, but it is how I felt. I was angry with God because He wasn’t giving me what I wanted. I felt like a failure in so many aspects in my life that I became withdrawn from those who loved me and all I wanted to do was sleep away the day. When I slept, I didn’t have to think about all the things that were going on or about how I felt like the biggest failure since, well, something that failed miserably. What I didn’t realize at the time was that God had a better plan than mine for me. I found myself reading the passage in Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles with God, over and over, and over again. (I wrote a blog about it, which I will include later, in another entry) I learned that I wasn’t dependent of God, but on my job, and on other people and things, and well, anything but God. He wanted me to depend solely on Him and hold on to Him with everything I had, so He allowed for me to lose my job, so I could see what He was trying to tell me. It’s like he hit me with a two-by-four saying “Can’t you see that YOU NEED ME!”

So what does the Bible say about all of this?

Interestingly enough, I discovered these two passages:

Philippians 4:13 and John 15:1-8 (NLT)

Philippians 4:13 says:
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

The above verse is probably a familiar verse for most people, but what about this one......?

In John Chapter 15:1-8, Christ says this: "I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.
"Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit.

For apart from me you can do nothing.

Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father."

Of course most of us remember the verse in Philippians that says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength", but did you catch what John 15:1-8 is saying? If you think about it, while Christ gives us the strength (if we ask for it) to do everything, without God, WE CAN DO NOTHING! Nada, zip, zilch, zero, etc…

What do we need to do? According to John 15:1-8, it says we need to remain in Him. What does it mean to “remain” in Him? What is that? It can be defined as keeping the commandments. Since we are no longer slaves to the law because of grace, we also don’t have to be slaves to sin because of Christ.

(God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 5:20-21) ( Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. Romans 6:5-11

God desires a relationship with us, He calls us His children, and as His children, we should be dependent on Him and Him alone. After all, doesn’t he give us everything? Allowing God to take control of the life He has given to us is not easy, but it is worth it. While we may think that we don't need anyone's help and that we have control of our lives, the fact is we do need help! We need God to handle all the craziness that this world throws our way. We need to trust that God has our best interest at heart and that He has a plan for us, that His plans are much better than ours, even when we can’t see it, and even when we have no clue what He is doing. (Like someone said to me before, “having a clue is overrated”) If we recognize that God loves us more than we can ever imagine and we believe that this is true, then it becomes much easier to trust Him in all things. The bottom line is WE NEED GOD, without him, we can’t do anything and it is incredibly difficult to survive in this crazy world.

I will leave you with some things to ponder.

Do you think that you can handle everything yourself and that you don’t need anyone… including God?

Do you trust God in ALL things, or just the things you want to trust Him with?

Do you know and believe that God loves you and has your best interest at heart?

What would you do if the only thing you had left to cling to was God?

Here are some questions to ponder in regards to my last post, which was actually part of my final exam. These questions really made me think and hopefully they will do the same for you. I don't take any of the credit for them. It belongs to Pastor Heath, who unwittingly preached on the same passage last week in church.

Here they are, happy pondering =D

Am I living in the light?

Is there any light in my life?

Am I confident that I have a relationship with God?

Are people drawn to you because of your faith?

Would they come to you if they were seeking God?

Supplies Needed: Sonlight and a Shaker of Salt

Supplies Needed: Sonlight and a Shaker of Salt

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house” (Matthew 5:13-15 NLT). Jesus Christ, the Son of God, says this in His Sermon on the Mount. Christ exemplified this example of being salt and light in a fallen world. When Jesus spoke to the disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, I believe he was trying to get them to see their role as His followers in a world full of moral decay and darkness. The world we live in today is far worse than it was back when Jesus spoke to the disciples. Moral decay and ignorance is so prevalent in today’s society, that the complete disregard for human life is becoming common place. With the ever looming presence of darkness lurking around today, what does it mean to be salt and light?

For centuries, salt has been used as a preservative in order to keep meat from rotting, but in order for it to be effective, it must be rubbed into the meat, reaching every part, even deep down into the core. Take a look at society today, and even back during the time that the Bible was written. Idol worship, sexual immorality, sacrifices to pagan gods, and all around immoral behavior was prevalent. It was so prevalent that God threatened to destroy Israel, his chosen people, who were persistently pursuing evil. “What sorrow awaits you who lie awake at night thinking up evil plans? You rise at dawn and hurry to carry them out, simply because you have the power to do so. When you want a piece of land, you find a way to seize it. When you want someone’s house, you take it by fraud and violence. You cheat a man of his property, stealing his family’s inheritance. But this is what the LORD says: “I will reward your evil with evil; you won’t be able to pull your neck out of the noose. You will no longer walk around proudly, for it will be a terrible time” (Micah 2:1-3) “I, the Sovereign LORD, am watching this sinful nation of Israel. I will destroy it from the face of the earth…” (Amos 9:8). The blatant disregard for what is considered morally good and right is not something that just existed then. The same problems exist today. Idols are in the forms of wealth, fame, and material possessions, as well as many others. Homosexuality, adultery, pornography, and other examples of sexual immorality are all over today’s society. Children are being killed before they even have the chance at life, out of convenience and selfishness. With all of that in the open, and much more left to be said, how different are we today from society in biblical times?

Society itself is like rotting meat and is in a state of decay. So where do Christians come in? Interactions with people who are not believers in Christ are like the action of rubbing the salt into the meat for preservation. Christians are to be an example to the world in the way they live their lives, especially morally and ethically. We are to preserve what has been entrusted to us. This is done, by following what the Word of God says and living a life that glorifies Him in everything. I think it is interesting that Jesus used the example of salt and not sugar for this. I’ve found out many times about the presence of a tiny paper cut on my finger when it came into contact with salt. It burned and irritated the tiny cut, making what was once obscurely noticed uncomfortably clear. I think it’s the same way for Christians, while we would like to possess a closer correlation to the properties of sugar; we most closely resemble the properties found in salt. Getting salt in a wound is unpleasant. The truth of Christianity in a fallen world has much of the same effect.

When Christians interact with those who are not yet believers in Christ, some irritation may occur at first. This is primarily because Christianity practices something totally different from what the world considers to be normal, however, it is imperative for this interaction to occur. As Christians, we are called to be in the world, but not of the world. What this means is that we should be in the world, setting an example in how we live, preserving it by following the Word of God and not falling into the trap of doing what the world considers to be right. This is where being a light in the darkness comes into play. So what does it mean to be a light in darkness?

Imagine being in a dark room that you’ve never been in before. In order to find your way out of the room, you need some source of light to show the way and to help guide you through the darkness. Once you find that light, a sense of relief washes over you and the darkness is removed, exposing the way out. Christianity is much like light in this way. This world we live in is full of sinners, Christians included, and because of this it is fallen and full of darkness. Jesus Christ is the light of the world shining down and showing us the way out of the darkness and into the light. Another illustration, of being the light is this. Have you ever been outside when it is dark? What happens when you turn on the light? Bugs of all sizes flock to the light because for some reason they are drawn to it. Perhaps it is because they can finally see where they are going. (Thanks Pastor Heath)

As Christians, it is our responsibility to be the light in the darkness, showing others love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. It is our responsibility to be the light and to show the world the way out of the darkness through the light of the son, Jesus Christ. We are to let the light within us, the new life given to us through Him, shine from us so that all may see the way out of the cloud darkness that this fallen world is under and into the radiant sunshine that is Jesus Christ and into the life that glorifies God in everything.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus clearly states that we are to be salt and light in this morally decaying and dark world. Not only that, but he also tells us how to do this throughout the entire thing. Jesus shows us through His example of being salt and light in our lives how to be salt and light in the lives of everyone we meet, Christian and Non-Christian alike. I think it is interesting that through teaching His followers to be salt and light, Jesus, being salt exposes some sinful behaviors that were happening and then sheds some light on how to turn away from those behaviors and live a life that is altogether glorifying to God. As Christians, we are called to follow the example of Christ and exemplify being the salt and light to others that Christ is to us. It is our responsibility to let our light shine brilliantly in the darkness and preserve the world which has been entrusted in our care by God.

“In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

(Matt 5:16 NLT)

Work of Art

Imagine that you have just finished a beautiful work of art. You've poured out all that you have in to it. All your effort and hard work is now displayed. Sweat and tears fell as you labored over it. You are very proud of your creation and you marvel at all the wonderful purposes it could serve. Overwhelmed by its beauty, you sit and take it all in, memorizing even the tiniest brush stroke and smiling as your creation now sits in front of you. As you examine your creation closely, you discover that something is wrong with it, it doesn't look quite right, in fact, it is flawed. Still in awe, you think about what you should to with your flawed creation. You can rip up, tear up, crumble up, or destroy your work of art and throw it in the trash and start over, after all it's flawed and it's not perfect. Or you can stand in amazement, staring at your creation in wonder and loving even the tiniest flaw in it. After all you created it with your own two hands, right. You put your time, efforts and hard work into this work of art that now sits in front of you. What would you do?

Now let's put that aside and think about the answer to the question, Why does God love us?

So, why does he? The Bible says that “No one is righteous, not even one. No one is truly wise; no one is seeking God. All have turned away; all have become useless. No one does good, not a single one… For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” (Romans 3:10-12, 23 NLT) I mean we aren't perfect, we have flaws, we sin, and some of us are downright disobedient, disrespectful, and hurtful to God. So if we think about that, then why would God love us?

God loves us because he created us. "So, God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27 NLT). “When God created human beings, he made them to be like himself.” (Genesis 5:1) Not only did God create us, but we were created in his own image. God loves us because he created us with his own two hands! This type of relationship wasn’t established with anything else in all of creation! What value this gives us to be created in the image of God!

We are bombarded with things and people in this world that constantly de-value us and make us feel like we are worth nothing. Often times there is a voice from our past or a voice in our head that says you’ve messed up too many times. You’ve made too many mistakes. You can’t do anything right. You can’t do it. You can’t do it on your own. We hear things like you’re not smart enough. You’re not strong enough. You’re not thin enough. You’re not pretty enough. Then Satan, the father of all lies, pops in and says that there is no way you can ever make anything of yourself. You are worthless. You are useless. Have you ever thought any of these things about yourself? Have you ever thought to yourself: How could God love me? I am such a terrible person. I can't do anything right!?

I think that God used the ministry of Jesus to show just how valuable we really are. Jesus reached out to the ones who were considered the outsiders, the untouchables, the outcasts. Jesus reached out to the ones who were considered “the least” to show the value and worth of everyone. I think we were created in God’s image because He wanted us to understand that we are worth something. He wanted us to see just how much He loves us. The amazing thing about God’s love for us is this, in spite of what we have done, or what we have yet to do - God loves us infinitely more that we can ever imagine. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. He loves us exactly the same on our worst days as He does on our best days. He breathed life into us and he formed us in our mother’s womb. We are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:13-16) Yes we are all sinners and we fall short of God's expectations for us, but He still loves us (Romans 3:23)

We are His masterpiece, His work of art. We were created for a reason and with a purpose. He poured all He had into us. Sweat and tears fell as He labored over us and despite all of the flaws we have or may think we have. He loves us! How amazing is that? We are flawed, imperfect, works of art, masterpieces, beautiful creations that are loved greatly!

How many of you would have thrown away your creation and simply started over? I know I probably would have.

I am so thankful that God doesn't scrap us and start over. Aren't you? God created everything about us, our looks, our personality – everything! He uses every aspect of our lives – the good and the bad to weave together a beautiful tapestry and all for His Glory!

So, the next time you find yourself standing in front of the mirror, wondering if and why God loves you, remember this. You are a beautiful creation, a work of art, a masterpiece; loved whole-heartedly and unconditionally despite any flaws. You are a child of God and you are loved!

I find it quite comforting to know that not only did God sacrifice His only son, Christ, to show His love for mankind, but He also created us in His image. It seems that not only did He want us to call Him our Father, but He also wanted us to recognize that we are His children. "See what kind of love the Father has given to us that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1, ESV).

What Sin Feels Like to God

I just finished writing a paper entitled "Sin and the Christian Life". I never really thought of sin like I should. Yeah I know it is wrong, but I never thought of how wrong it actually was.... I know I'm not alone on that one....

It is in our nature to sin, but as believers in Christ we are called (commanded) to resist sin. The Holy Spirit in us gives us the ability to do so through the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:10-17) When we are tempted to sin, there is a little process that goes on. First there is the presentation of the object of sin. We can choose to either resist it or flirt with it. If we choose to flirt with the sin, we may then decide to taste a little more. Then, before we know it, we are totally immersed in that sinful behavior and it becomes hard to turn back. The sinful behavior then becomes a part of us. This is where shame and guilt come in.

It is my personal opinion that as Christians we should experience more shame and guilt over sins than someone who doesn't believe in God or even know God. We have God's law right in front of us and therefore we should be more aware of what is right and wrong in the eyes of God. This is where some of the major problems lie with sin and the Christian life. There are many lies that Satan tells us about sin. He tells us that sin is fun. He leads us to believe that we can get away with it, that one sin is better than another, that we are not fully responsible for our actions and that there is nothing wrong with sin. After all, we are all sinners, right? Everybody sins.

Sadly in our culture today, sin is taken very lightly and even minimized to such a state that it becomes unclear why it is wrong in the first place. Don Everts in his book, The Smell of Sin, mentions that in our culture today, sin has joined the ranks of the unicorn, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Many see sin as a myth, as something created by parents as an effort to control their children (Everts 32-33) Sin is essentially forgotten. Steve Taylor is an American singer, songwriter, record producer, and film director who started out in the early 80's. He is also a Christian. In his song "Whatever Happened to Sin"; Steve talks about the minimizing of sin that happens in our culture today. In his commentary on the meaning of the song he states this, "I don't always expect outsiders to understand why abortion is wrong, or why a homosexual lifestyle is incompatible with Biblical Christianity, or even why we shouldn't shrug it off when politicians lie. But as the 20th century draws to a close, the church and its leaders must remember that our mission is to make disciples of Jesus, not to 'de-sinsitize' sin."

Sin is no small matter. It is a very large one which shouldn't be ignored. It has been said that if you play with fire, you are bound to get burned. The same is true for sin. When we sin, we are in effect saying that we can get away with it and we may even believe it."Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." (Galatians 6:7 NLT) Sin is not meant to be compartmentalized. There is no such thing as a hierarchy of sins. All sins are treated equally. In the eyes of God, committing murder is the same as lying. Every act of sin is a blatant act of rebellion against God. When we choose to sin, we are responsible for our own choices and therefore we must suffer the consequences for our choices. Like I stated before, sin is not something to be taken lightly. If we are to be Followers of Christ, then it is our responsibility to recognize the seriousness of sin.

Sin is not fun; it is hurtful not only to us, but also to the Father and his Son. "Just imagine you are back a home with your parents. You've slept in and are aroused from your grogginess by the rich smells of bacon and coffee. You smile and roll out of bed. Rounding the corner into the kitchen you see an intense spread on the table – all your favorites! A pile of steaming bacon on a platter in the middle, a huge carafe of orange juice (looks fresh squeezed), cheddar cheese thickly seeping out of the four egg omelet on your plate; you smile and sigh. Your family around the table is chatting as only family can. They smile as you enter the room. Then you see her. She straightens up in front of the open oven, and as she turns you see her familiar, faded lilac apron and a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls that fills the room with the hope of a good day. She walks over with a smile and a wink and sets the tray right next to your place at the table. A gentle "good morning, honey" invites you to take your seat with the family… you walk up to your mom – and spit directly in her face. That's what it is like, Jesus says. Afterward the room would be dead silent, of course. Mom would quickly close both eyes, and the spit would drip slowly down her shocked, hurt face. She would most likely raise her apron, more to hide her face than to clean it…" (Everts 49-50) There is nothing good about sin. It is blatant disregard and rebellion against a loving parent. Not the kind of disobedience that would require a stern look, but the one that results in deep anguish and weeping from someone who has done nothing but love.

In Psalm 51, the psalmist, David, pours his heart out and grieves over the sins he committed. "Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. For I was born a sinner— yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. But you desire honesty from the womb teaching me wisdom even there. Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you." (Psalm 51:1-12 NLT)

I believe that David, a man after God's heart, has the right response to sin. He feels horrible and sincerely wants to reconcile with God. I imagine David on his knees or laying on his stomach on the ground weeping uncontrollably over the sins he committed – over hurting God immensely. David recognizes the severity of his sins, repents, seeks forgiveness, and a right relationship with God. David humbles himself before the Lord recognizing that he needs to submit to Him and is genuinely sorry for offending God. This is what we should be doing as Christians when we confront the sin in our lives. We need to be on our knees humbling ourselves in front of God, laying at his feet and weeping uncontrollably over our sins and over hurting a loving parent who has done nothing but love us. Sin is not a small matter, it is not a myth, and it is not fun. Sin is hurtful and destructive to relationships, especially the relationship with our loving Father. This is the ugly truth about sin. "You can never be humble enough for your sin. Think as highly of your sin as you can, so it will humble you" (Johnathan Edwards)

The last line simply means this: We, yes even Christians, think so little of sin. We have minimized it and therefore we often become prideful of our sin. Thnking "I am better than that person, my sin isn't that bad" What Jonathan Edwards is essentially saying is that we need be be humble before God and humbled by our sins. So if we think highly of our sin, that is realize just how bad it really is, the we will be humbled. The Bottom line is sin is bad news...